Invisible new world.

I always think to myself, I wish I could make friends more easily. I wish I was a little less introverted when it came to making new friends. It’s not like I was uncomfortable with it; every time I would make a new friend, it always felt good and made me happy. So why was it so difficult? Sometimes I think it was not something that was outside my control. It was not that I was just naturally introverted; I never believed anyone could just be a certain way without having the ability to change it, at least. So was I truly invisible, or had I just made myself invisible? Was I even invisible at all?

A lot of times, people like to tell me that the problem was not in the choice I was making or the way someone else was in the space around me, but that I thought of myself in an incorrect way. The problem was that I had too much of an ego to approach someone first. A lot of times, I would think that it was true; I expected someone else to talk to me first. I myself expected myself to not be invisible to the people around me. Yet, that was not really the problem. It was actually the fact that I, along with everyone around me, was scared. Scared of what? Being dismissed, being judged because everything now is so easy.

All the socializing we want our phones to do for us means that when it comes to real life, even if you want to make friends, there is just so much resistance. What is all of this resistance worth? Saving a little bit of face, we did not get judged by a person we had never spoken to before. That seems quite cheap. So then, what is the problem? If it is not the way we think, not the way we act, not the way we see ourselves, and not the way we want others to see us, then what is it that has separated us from each other? I always hear people older than me tell me about how outgoing they are, but maybe it is all just a placebo.

What does it matter anyway? It is not like not being able to make a new friend is the end of the world. The thing is, it could help create a better one.