Cold Promise

I wake up in the morning, and it’s cold outside. Just then, I regretted every single time I said that winter was my favorite season. At this point, the bed seems extremely comfortable, and there is absolutely nothing else that I would rather do than go back to sleep. Yet the problem was that the alarm went off, and I had made myself a promise the previous night. It was the first gloomy day of the year, with the sun not really making any kind of appearance at all. As I turned out of bed, I saw three different people in my room; each of them was a different me.

One of me went to the balcony, saw the terrible foggy and cold atmosphere with the grass below filled with dew, and just decided to fall back asleep on the chair. I thought seeing this would send me back to snoozing, but it actually ended up making me worried. The second one of me was sitting on the floor, staring at my shoes, trying to convince myself to put them on and get out. The third one was staring right back at me, already ready to keep my promise. The second one said to me, What is the problem? It’s a Sunday; there is nothing wrong with sleeping in. Then slowly, he moved away from the pair of shoes and clothes I had set up the previous night.

He, too, went back to bed. So now it was just two of us—one that was about to leave and one that just could not decide whether to leave or not. I walked to the bathroom slowly and reluctantly. I turned on the tap and felt the cold water fall on my hands. I struggled to convince myself to throw it at my face, and by this time, my hands had filled up. Then someone came up behind me. It was my third self that forced the water onto my face. As the cold water hit my eyelids, they refused to close again. And I refused to go back to bed.

So I shivered out of the door, put on my shoes, and kept my promise to myself. Yet as soon as it was over, I saw my third self continuing to go on while I stopped. There I was again conflicted on what I should be doing, yet this time there was no cold water he could put on my face, just my own guilt. Will that turn out to be enough?