Candle

Does one need to constantly torture themselves in order to get better? Is hate the only way to get progress? I surely hope not. I always like to think that it is about enjoying the ride while it lasts because the process is the fun part. I have always loved being lost in the process of something. Yet what about when I don’t enjoy it, but it still needs to be done. At that point I am presented with two options either I can force myself to do what I have to do or I can learn to find enjoyment in it. A lot of times we cannot learn to enjoy something but if we just torture ourselves constantly, we won’t just become stronger but we might start looking at our own selves with disdain.

A little while ago I would have seen nothing wrong with that. As long as the work is done there should be no problem about how I feel about myself or anyone at all. That I was building a different kind of mind where I could just be a machine that does not end at all. In this what happened was even though things were getting done they were not how I wanted them to be. Yet my wants did not matter, what mattered was the effort. Then slowly that was not there either. As we tend to feel negatively about ourselves we tend to look for some positivity outside. We rarely find it. Usually it is not there at all.

The light we are looking for is always inside us. It might be dim, we might be blind to it. but we have to make sure that we don’t end up turning it off. The light that is within us, can become stronger and brighter all we have to do is air that flame. Let it grow.