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You can never be alone in this city. Even when you walk alone you end up being worried about everything else but yourself. People you have never seen in your life talk to you, some of them compliment you, others swear at you and some share their life stories that you never asked about. So it ends up seeming as if everybody in this city knows that you exist and acknowledges it. Doesn’t that happen everywhere? You might ask. Well, it does not. I don’t think there is anywhere in the world other than here where you can get sworn at and then complimented all within 5 minutes by people you have never met before.

Suddenly, each individual you see becomes part of the crowd. The same crowd that you enter and leave becomes only a blur of noises. There is no familiarity in any face you see around you, yet there is a direct goal that each one of us shares. Even if we lie about it, the city only created one kind of person. One that wants to live above the city and its people. We join the crowd in hopes to get out of it. We run the race so that we never have to run anymore. Yet on the way, we meet people trying to beat us and others trying to win with us. I don’t know which one is better. Those trying to beat me make me more competitive and those trying to win together push me up. Most days I don’t know which one I am, yet every day I know I am not one to lose.

Yesterday I tried to buy a slice of pizza for myself and a man ended up screaming at me as he said he did not like the way I looked at him with my glasses, for the first few moments I was scared, yet I realised that I was just going to laugh about it in an hour or so. Yet within about thirty minutes, I walked into a store and the shopkeeper complimented my shirt with a smile. Maybe once you get further in the race winning becomes less desirable alone. Since then each crowd you enter is not just individuals around you. It becomes familiar faces, making it difficult for you to just beat them and move to the next level.

These connections make almost no sense to me. I am used to the crowds just leaving me alone, and the individuals remaining un bothering or supporting. That way it makes competing more difficult yet winning easier. In the end, it all doesn’t matter, because only one of us can win and rise above.